4 Positions to Drive Him Wild

With it being love day and all I know everyone is thinking about the chocolate, wine, steaks and of course some good ole bedroom action, and I am no different. This post however is…

Every woman wants her man to be crazy over her. We want to feel like his life revolves around us, and would kiss the ground we walk on. Ladies, am I right? We want out man to smile at us proudly as we kill whatever goals we have set for ourselves, and simultaneously rip our clothes off like we are Halle Berry’s porn star twin in the bedroom.

This is the reason why #relationshipgoals is a trending hashtag on social media. Not a believer? Look it up and you will see an array of pictures. You will find pics displaying pride, lust, and everything in between. Girlfriends and wives everywhere are drooling over the way Jay Z holds Beyonce’s ankle. While cheering and leaving smiling emojis as we discovered that Tammy took back Wacka. Let us not forget the time Former President Barack Obama cupped his First Lady’s rear end *swoon*

The thing women are forgetting is we have to stimulate his MIND and his body. Sure you can be a gymnast in the bed, and even be the best he ever had, but if that is all you have the relationship will never make it out of the bedroom. How will he brag to his friends if his only memories with you are in the bedroom? Those stories will eventually get old. If he serious about you he will not want to talk about your bedroom behavior instead he will want to talk about your business venture, the time you graduated from college, your new promotion at work, or how loving you are with the children. He will want to talk about a woman who is bringing more to the table than her plate.

 As cliché, as it sounds a man, wants a LADY in the streets and a FREAK in the sheets. Don’t believe me? Go ahead and ask any man. It can be a lot but you are trying to get to those relationship goals right? So here are four positions that are sure to drive him wild in and out of the bedroom.

Ride him, cowgirl. This will allow you to take control while giving him a full view of you and allow his hands to roam free. Men love when the woman takes control so give him what he wants!

Doggie Style. In this position, he is able to go deeper, and move at his own pace. So for the times when he needs to dominate and feel like a king, this is a perfect position.

Standing tall. A woman who is confident, about her business, and takes care of her business is a turn on. If you are truly standing tall you will have no problem stimulating his mind, and showing him things he has never seen before. Remember confidence is the best thing a woman can wear.

On your knees. Instantly you thought about an oral transaction, and those are good too but there is nothing like a praying woman. A lady who knows where her strength comes from will be able to be her man’s backbone when he needs it. Whatever your faith is you have to have a source. God, Universe, Buddha whomever you have to get your strength from somewhere, and faith comes from prayer.

Use these positions and watch him fall in love with you all over again. He will notice the changes and suddenly you are the giggling girl with your man looking lovingly at you. Thank me later ladies, and happy love day.

Which position will you be trying tonight?

Is your Marriage Ready for the new Year?

I still cannot believe it is 2017. Like time really does not wait for anyone. So here we are beginning February, but we are still feeling pumped about the year ahead. It’s something magical about the beginning of the year. Everyone is pumped and excited about the future.  People are proclaiming this is their year and I LOVE it. I personally don't mind people saying new year new me I am here for everyone improving themselves. We are right in that magical space where you really decide if you are going to stick with your goals or not. So I figured it was the perfect time to address your marriage!

During this time of new beginning, everyone has great intentions and we are all ready to conquer the world. We have pumped ourselves up for world domination! We set our resolutions and finally decided to publish that book, start that company, and live a fabulous life. However, in all your planning did you consider your marriage? Have you set goals for your union? Or do you think it will just run on auto pilot? The one thing that should be at the forefront of our minds is often left to an afterthought.

We think about our weight loss, and set a workout schedule but did we schedule date night? We have decided on a meal prep company (because ain't nobody got time for that) but what have we planned or put in place for our marriage? Without proper planning, we are going to be two hot, business owners who have fallen into roommate syndrome.

So how do we combat this? My husband and I have business meetings! I know you ready with the side eye because this is love and not a business, right? Nah now I am giving you side eye because like it or not this a business. Don’t believe me just watch.

A business is defined as a person's regular occupation, profession, or trade. So wouldn't wife and husband fall into that category? If not we need to talk a little more in depth, email me personally here. As a wife, there are regular duties you perform same with being a husband. You have a job to do outside of cooking and cleaning. So back to my original point.

 My husband and I have a business meeting to discuss the business of our marriage. We discuss our kid's schedules, bills, and schedule some time for us. The importance of this meeting is to keep communication open. Open lines of communication work wonders for the marriage.

We also have goals for our marriage whether it is how we show love, frequent sexual adventures, or whatever else we decide. So in addition to the kid's schedules, and bills we use this meeting as a time for us to check in and see what we are doing great at, and what we could be dong better. I work better with goals, and progress checks he respects that and gives it to me.

With it now being February people are going to be thinking about Valentine's day and sex but I want you to make sure you are giving your husband the best of you every day and not just in February. So here are a few things to remember to make sure your marriage is healthy and ready for the new year:

1.  Your words matter, he needs your encouragement. You are his biggest cheerleader. He needs your support. With your words, he can feel like Superman or Pookie from new jack City so make sure you are constantly lifting him up. It doesn't matter who tells him he is great he wants to hear it from you.

2.  Loving him means taking care of you. Sometimes taking care of you means taking a break. Take time for you. I know what you are thinking, Girl you said this was about my marriage, and it is. Still, when you are feeling your best you can give him your best

3.  Express gratitude. The number one complaint I hear from men (yes I work with men too) is that they do not feel appreciated. I think when people get married they assume that because he is the husband he has to do things when this is not true. Ask the married lady who doesn't know where her husband is at night.

Just remember when you are setting your intentions, praying, seeking, and planning do not forget your marriage. What have you done for your marriage lately?

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A Year in Review: Goodbye 2016 Hello 2017

Wow! 2017. Happy New Year everyone.  I cannot believe it is time for a year in review post already. It feels like I just did this for 2016. I would go into how time is not a real concept but that's not why you are here.

Now let me get into it. 2016, I know for some it was horrible, and yes as a country it may not have been our proudest moment but for me.... well I am blessed. I have finally gotten some things right and this year for me was nothing short of amazing. I am in awe of all the things that happened. 

I sill start with bae, where else would I start lol. I watched this man take crap for me ( a lot less crap but hey I am still a work in progress), go to jobs that he HATED, and then FINALLY step into his purpose. He started his business Cleaneats 2 U and I could not be more proud.  Cleaneats 2 u is a meal prep service that ships all over the country. The meals are very healthy but also very tasty, and fresh frozen. It is a huge hit. Shot out to his loyal customers. 

My Jaden is still a joy and a terror and we have started the potty training phase. My mini me alas has figured out that she doesn't have to be everybody's best friend. Enter in a twerk AND a praise dance. She was able to say no, and stick with it and not feel bad. I think she struggled with the difference in assertive and aggressive a bit but eh we are getting to it.

For me, well I started a new blog, business, and was able to meet some AMAZING women. I was also able to connect with a woman whose work I had been admiring online for quite some time. I was a guest blogger for Amanda Whetstone, Code Red Flag, and a featured blogger on The Social Wives Club, a vendor at More than a Wifey Brunch, a guest on The Real Feel Good Show,  108 Praise Radio, and The Doctor of Love Show. I was able to help several women restore their self-love while assisting a few other women in restoring their romantic love. I will say 2016 had its challenges but I am blessed. Of course, I must mention I self-published my first book!!! For those of you who got the pre-order copy, thank you for the support, and I am so sorry for all the errors. It was definitely a learning experience, and changes have been made.

I am even more excited about 2017 because I am so much smarter, calmer, and more intentional this year. I am days away from launching my new coaching program, added a new service to my list of services, and have plans to just move forward and keep shining the light on love. I really just want women to know they can have it all if they work for it. 

No more playing small for me and I encourage you to do the same. We get out of life what we work for. I recently sent my email list 4 tips to a better new year and I will share one with you. Be intentional, in all things. 

What are your plans for the new year?

Don't be the Dead Battery in Your Relationship

I have really been working hard to make sure I am doing all the things I tell others to do. Part of that is sticking to my goal of cleaning the living room nightly. Something about heading out the door in the morning and passing the mess bothers me (it must just be me because the kids don't seem to be in any hurry to pick up after themselves).

Anyway, I was cleaning my living room for the hundredth time this particular day and I heard the familiar noise of a talking toy dying.  Unless you are a parent or have children's battery powered toys in your home you may not recognize the noise. When a toy is dying the voice is fake scary deep and it drags on like it is being chopped and screwed.

Before I get to the point I just want to ask why is it when a battery powered toy is dying the toy talks/makes noise when no one is playing with it. Like it is randomly calling out for help. How is this even happening? Ok back to the point.

As a parent, I can hear a dying toy a mile away. I immediately thought to myself “where are my batteries”.  I went to the battery bag (I am a parent, and there is a bag for everything) I only found one in the size I needed. Since children have some sort of innate alarm that goes off when you are moving or otherwise bothering the toy they have not looked at in months my son comes running in the room. Of course, since I am holding his toy it is now the best things ever and he wants it. As I looked into my son’s beautiful brown eyes I knew what I had to do.

I only changed one of the batteries. I knew when I put the good battery in the toy with the dying battery it wouldn’t last. I really only wanted it to last until he lost interest again, or until I could get to the store for more batteries. No, I couldn't go right then I was cleaning remember. The day went on and I eventually forgot and like clockwork two days later there is the toy sounding like a bad remix again. I knew when I forced the good battery to do all the work the toy would not last.

Now, why would I tell you this story? To set the stage for what is next because the whole post couldn't be about batteries right? As a relationship expert, I see the world and most activities in relationships. Simple things like the battery incident made me think of my clients and some of the relationship issues they are experiencing.

They are having these issues because one if not both of them is the dead battery. In a relationship, you need two whole, happy, healthy people for it to work.  If not the relationship is doomed. Sorry, I aint sorry. If one person is the dying battery the other person ends up doing all the work, and eventually they become drained or sick. Now you have two “dead” people in a dysfunctional “relationship”. Life is hard enough and we all have our issues. The stress of carrying our load, and adding a second load with no help is just too much work.`

What is a “dead” battery in terms of relationships? It is a person who is not pulling their weight for whatever reason. This person has not addressed their own issues, whatever the issues may be. This can be financially, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically. To be clear I am not saying a person on a journey is “dead”, as being on the journey indicates life. We all have to grow, and we should allow our loved ones the space to do the same.

I am talking about the people who are deep in their issue and not looking for a way out. For example, a person who may have had a bad relationship in the past and is not making any effort to heal and are also bringing their old baggage into their relationship would be considered a “dead” person.

Think about your last relationship, why did it end? Were one of you giving your all and the other not so much? Who was the dead battery in that relationship, if there was one? Who was not carrying their weight? Who was not growing in the relationship?

Life is about change and growth. When you refuse to grow you die. Do you want your 10-year-old acting as a 5-year-old? Hopefully, the answer is no. You want them to grow, learn and expand their thinking. The same applies to you. When I told you the story of the dying toy it was easy to identify the issue. The dead battery drained the new battery. Why is so hard for people to look at their lives with the same simplicity? If you are not in a good space mentally how do you expect to sustain a relationship? Grow, learn and do not attach yourself to dead batteries. Most importantly don't be the dead battery.

Have you ever had to end a relationship because it was too draining?

3 Things I learned When Mariah asked for an Inconvenience Fee

Say what you will about Ms. Mariah she is a true diva and not just in the vocal aspect. Mariah has managed to do what women probably should have been doing all along. Demand money for wasting her time! After all time is super sacred because we can NEVER get it back.  Now I am not sure she will get the money. I am not even sure she deserves it. What I am sure of is this is one the most epic empowerment moves I have seen in a while.

Is it a publicity stunt for her upcoming show? Maybe. Does she deserve the money? Hell I don’t know because I wasn’t there. What I do know is it takes balls to do something this bold. She is in essence saying you waste my time so pay me. She uprooted her family to be with this man, and the demise of the relationship had her so distraught she had to cancel part of her tour. Before you condemn her she is a women first and a celebrity second.

She is not the first woman to move to a city to be with or closer to a man. If I am being honest, I have done it. It all worked out because I met my husband but I will never forget facing the fact that I left home and comfort with my daughter for a man and the relationship failed. She also is not the first women to be so distraught about love ending she had to miss work. Don’t pretend you have spent a day on the couch after a break up. Sure it is not the same as cancelling a tour but it boils down to a woman missing work because things did not work out with the man she loves. I think we often expect celebrities to bounce quicker, but why? They are human too.

Still not convinced this was an empowering move? Let’s talk. Remember the guy you cosigned for his car because his credit was bad and you believed in him? Remember when he stopped making those payments?  Or the guy who told you all his big dreams and you helped him by allowing him to live with you rent free and as soon as he got it together he only wanted to be “friends” so he could focus on his dream? Or the guy who slept with your friend? What about ole boy who lied and had a whole family turning you unknowingly into the Sidechick? Then there was the guy who promised he was different and told you he would love you forever and forever ended way sooner than you thought it would? See we have all been in some sort of situation where our time was wasted by a man we were in a romantic relationship with. So even if she doesn’t get the money in some way it has to feel great to be audacious enough to ask.

While I have had my own thoughts on Mariah since she got in the tub at the end of her episode of Cribs show she has made a serious move with this one.  She understands it does not matter what we think about her, her spending habits, her love life, and even her talent. She values herself enough to ask for what she believes she deserves. Now whether you think she is a hot mess for doing so or not here are three things to take from this situation.

Value yourself. For better or worse Mariah is asking for an inconvenience fee because she feel her time, love and location are valuable. If more of us saw the value in ourselves we not be swept away by men who are only going to waste our time by breaking promises they never intended to keep. While I am not telling you to charge your ex a fee I am saying understand what you bring to the table so you don’t have to settle.

Stop husband-ing (like wife-ing) these boyfriends. I will admit I have done it to. However the sooner you learn to stop the better you will be. We as women are trying so hard to prove we are wife material, (whatever that is because it is clearly different for every guy) that we forget we are the prize. Sure be down, have his back but things like moving, placing him on your insurance, combining bills these are all husband status activities. Any man married or not can leave but I promise you will feel so much better about yourself when you are going through the break up if you reserved some of the extras.  I know what you are thinking, well he was her fiancé. SO WHAT!!! He was not her husband and now she has to relocate again and start over. Some would say a fiancé is just a slightly upgraded boyfriend anyway.

Never be afraid to ask for what you want… after all you just might get it. We are living in strange times and it is oddly possibly that she just might get this man’s money. Even still what if she doesn’t get all of it but half?  Half will still add to her account. Without asking we can all agree she would get nothing.

I understand husband’s leave their wives all the time but not as often as boyfriends, and apparently fiancés. So protect your heart ladies, and be careful. Along with that never be afraid to demand your worth. You just might get it. When is the last time you boldly asked for what you wanted?